You have turned my sadness into coca-cola

September 22, 2010 3:04 PM

This morning I woke up and felt completely empty inside. I was physically and emotionally drained. My body was weak due to lack of sleep, and no exercise (I miss running and swimming). In addition I felt distant and disconnected from God. I had feelings of emptiness, I felt alone. I laid in bed for what I thought was hours, arguing mentally with myself. I felt like I was ineffective and unable to serve and help here in Haiti. I felt like this whole trip had been a waste. I'm not

gonna lie, sometimes I tend to think dramatically like this- and it is not the hardest thing in to world to bring me near depression. However, I was trying to find the root of this feeling. I called out to God, and called out, and called out. Still no answer.

After a while of just sitting there in silence I opened up my Bible and started to read. Then I closed it and remained sitting in silence- listening. still nothing.

funny thing is- I thought I had been up for hours, I thought it was around 11:00. However it was only a couple minutes. The moment I woke up I started having these feelings and thoughts and down I go. The downward spiral pulled me down faster than I could even realize. Before I knew it I was knee deep in emptiness, completely drained.

Then I snapped out of it, praying "please help me to get out of this funk, I don't know where these feelings are coming from but I want them to stop" and I kept praying and kept asking God. But nothing happened.

It was only when I had stopped asking God, that I was rescued from these thoughts. Then thats when I realized- God doesn't just want me to ask for His help when I am in desperate need. He wants me to depend on Him 24/7 not just in hard times. Then I t

hought to myself "it is actually all the time that I am in desperate need of God. Not just when things are tough, but also when things are going good- I desperately need God."

Now after prayer and God's word, I am doing swell. It's amazing how the devil uses even the smallest things (such as being tired, and a little sick), as a foothold. But what is even more amazing is the love that God has for us that He cares enough to reach down into our lives and pick us up once we fall and set us on our feet, scrape off the dirt from our knees and wipe the blood from our elbows and say "I love you, no matter how many times you fail".

another crazy thing is, how good coke taste in haiti. its like a magical unicorn sent from God picked the ingredients and decided that high fructose corn syrup should be replaced with pure cane juice. and then the angles said, "let's replace the can with a glass bottle."

and all I have to say is amen.

In Honor of Bilbo and Frodo

Today is National Hobbit day. We should all commemorate today, because it's nice to have holidays. Some suggestions for celebrating are; giving gifts, watching lord of the rings, singing hobbit songs, smoking a pipe, lighting off fireworks, dancing, and going barefoot. Another great way to celebrate is plant a garden, and don't do any homework (for at least today). Since I am missing celebrating this holiday with my friends and family I will simply have to re-celebrate once I get back.

Just to prove to you that I am not making this up, I did some research last night before heading to bed.

"Hobbit Day is the birthday of the hobbits Bilbo and Frodo Baggins, two fictional characters in J. R. R. Tolkien's popular set of books The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings."Both Bilbo and Frodo were said to be born on September 22, but of different years. Bilbo was born in the year of 2890 and Frodo in the year of 2968 in the Third Age (1290 and 1368 respectively in Shire-Reckoning.)""Celebration
The Fellowship of the Ring opened with a celebration of Bilbo's birthday. It was a large party with food, fireworks, dancing and much merriment.
In real world some Tolkien fans celebrate with having parties and feasts emulating the hobbit's parties. Others celebrate by simply going barefooted in honour of the hobbits, who rarely wear shoes.
Many schools and libraries use this as an opportunity to garner interest in Tolkien's work by putting up displays and hosting events."

Also during my research I found that this week as a whole is also to be celebrated as Tolkien Week(Tolkien Week is the week containing Hobbit Day)

"The American Tolkien Society first proclaimed Hobbit Day and Tolkien Week in 1978, and defines them as this: "Tolkien Week is observed as the calendar week containing September 22, which is always observed as Hobbit Day", but acknowledges that Hobbit Day pre-dates their designation."

I know not everyone is as excited about this as I am. But relax a little, take a break and celebrate Hobbit day, (and if you're extra daring spread some cheer for Tolkien Week)

over and out

Simple

“This was a very typical time. I was single. All you needed was a cup of tea, a light, and your stereo, you know, and that’s what I had.”
—Steve Jobs 1982

Since I have been here in Haiti I have seen just how little people have. It has made me think how much stuff I have that I don't need. I want to live simple. This is an inspiration.

what is God teaching me

September 18, 2010 12:08 PM

Wow, 3 days have gone by already! No way! Let me go over quickly what happened.

I got an avocado the size of a football! It was delicious

I drove down to Port-au-Prince in a bus and picked up a team from MFI (missionary flights international). It was pretty cool.

I started working on my grandparents newsletter. If you asked me 2 days ago I would say “I don’t want to talk about it” but now its almost done so I am happy.

I only have 9 days left here. And I think I am starting to see what God is teaching me.

Since the time I arrived here I have realized more and more how much I don’t rely on God. I tend to get distracted with other things. Little things seem to get in my way, I become “too busy”. When I realize I need to spend more time with God, my day becomes packed, distractions come, or I fall into temptation.

It seems that every chance I have to refocus is plagued by distractions, and once I have mastered ignoring those distractions, a whole new set of distractions come. Its like a line from the movie Elisabethtown (I watched it when I was sick, and I don’t care if it’s a chick flick, I liked it) “if its not this, it would be something else”. How true that is. “If its not this distraction, or temptation, it would be something else”.

I don’t think at any time we are going to have it easy. It’s not easy to stay focused on God and depend on Him. There are always going to be things pulling us away from Him. I have been learning how much I have to mentally seek after God, and physically make time for Him. I am learning how to push past distractions and stay focused on Him and His will.

Sometimes the distractions can even things that are good. It could be teaching, leading a small group, leading worship, mentoring, etc. that pulls you away from God. These things (if you are too involved) can have a negative impact on your walk with Christ. A wise man (I cant remember if it was Andrew Schwab from Project 86, or Jimmy Ryan from Haste the Day) once told me “Ministry is the overflow of personal devotion”.

That means that Ministry is not being a Youth Pastor, Missionary, or Worship leader- those are only jobs. Ministry is the outcome of when you are devoted to Christ, letting Him work through you. What we now call “Ministry” can become just a job if you aren’t devoted to God. In John 15:2 it says that those who bear fruit- He prunes. I read a little bit of taking care of a vineyard, and the vinedresser was talking about how the vines usually produce flowers in the spring. He said they are beautiful blossoms and they smell nice too, but every spring he goes out and cuts off the blossoms, because- although the flowers are attractive and smell good they suck the nourishment that would go to the fruit. So things that appear to be good, and are even “good” things can suck the nourishment that belongs to the fruit. What is fruit?

Galatians 5 says that fruit is from the Spirit, and that fruit is; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self control. This fruit does not come by the flesh, but by the Spirit, and no matter how hard you try to possess these positive characteristics you can’t. The works of the flesh are evident, and they are against the fruit of the Spirit. Paul says the flesh and the spirit are at war, or opposed to/with each other. Real fruit then is the Spirit working in and through you.

So when God prunes you, it is so He can work in you more effectively, without pretty flowers getting in the way. There may be things that He takes away because it is inhibiting you from Gods potential for you (even though these things may be good). Sometimes leading worship can take so much time and preparing, that it distracts you from spending time with God- Prune. Sometimes you are doing so much ministry that you don’t make time to talk to God- Prune. Sometimes you care so much about helping people that you are distracted from what God is teaching you in YOUR life- Prune Sometimes you are so involved in helping others grow, you stop seeking to grow yourself- Prune.

Right now I think I’m being pruned a lot and it’s not cause I am doing a lot of “good” stuff, it’s just cause I’m messed up.

Over and out.

Hobbit Song

I don't know why I love this but I do. and its so catchy if you know the tune.

Hey, ho, to the bottle I go,
To heal my heart and drown my woe!
Rain may fall and wind may blow,
But there still beeeeee many miles to go!

Sweet is the sound of the pouring rain,
And stream that falls from hill to plain!
Better than rain or rippling brook,
Is a mug of beer inside this Took!

Strange and dark is the world outside,
But in the pub we've naught to hide!
With lots of ale, and barley wine,
This evenin' is surpassin' fine!

Harvest's in and cold without,
An' hobbits strong are hobbits stout!
Naught to fear, and naught to think,
For hobbits nowwww have ale to drink!

The Shire lays right down to sleep,
In slumber long and slumber deep!
Hushed be hobbit lass and lad,
With faces plump and faces glad!

A land of peace and a hobbit hole
And in a pouch a pipeweed roll!
Never falter, never fear,
For the Shire will always be here!

I could be brown, I could blue, I could be violet sky, I could be hurtful, I could be purple, I could be anything you like

iSeptember 15, 2010 3:38 PM

Its been a great day so far. Really productive! I got a lot of stuff done here at the mission. And I also ate 1/3 of now’n’laters package! So yes it was a great day today so far. Last night I had an amazing quite time. I wrote out a prayer, and I was thinking about posting it, but I’m not sure how that would be perceived. Then again not a lot of people read this, what do you think?

Over and out.

Haitian Happiness

September 13, 2010 10:12 PM

I have been sick all day, I haven’t left bed except to poop and throw up. We call this “Haitian Happiness” and I wasn’t too happy, but I was filled with joy.

This girl. I love this girl.

Over and out.

Ps. My beard itches.