You have turned my sadness into coca-cola

September 22, 2010 3:04 PM

This morning I woke up and felt completely empty inside. I was physically and emotionally drained. My body was weak due to lack of sleep, and no exercise (I miss running and swimming). In addition I felt distant and disconnected from God. I had feelings of emptiness, I felt alone. I laid in bed for what I thought was hours, arguing mentally with myself. I felt like I was ineffective and unable to serve and help here in Haiti. I felt like this whole trip had been a waste. I'm not

gonna lie, sometimes I tend to think dramatically like this- and it is not the hardest thing in to world to bring me near depression. However, I was trying to find the root of this feeling. I called out to God, and called out, and called out. Still no answer.

After a while of just sitting there in silence I opened up my Bible and started to read. Then I closed it and remained sitting in silence- listening. still nothing.

funny thing is- I thought I had been up for hours, I thought it was around 11:00. However it was only a couple minutes. The moment I woke up I started having these feelings and thoughts and down I go. The downward spiral pulled me down faster than I could even realize. Before I knew it I was knee deep in emptiness, completely drained.

Then I snapped out of it, praying "please help me to get out of this funk, I don't know where these feelings are coming from but I want them to stop" and I kept praying and kept asking God. But nothing happened.

It was only when I had stopped asking God, that I was rescued from these thoughts. Then thats when I realized- God doesn't just want me to ask for His help when I am in desperate need. He wants me to depend on Him 24/7 not just in hard times. Then I t

hought to myself "it is actually all the time that I am in desperate need of God. Not just when things are tough, but also when things are going good- I desperately need God."

Now after prayer and God's word, I am doing swell. It's amazing how the devil uses even the smallest things (such as being tired, and a little sick), as a foothold. But what is even more amazing is the love that God has for us that He cares enough to reach down into our lives and pick us up once we fall and set us on our feet, scrape off the dirt from our knees and wipe the blood from our elbows and say "I love you, no matter how many times you fail".

another crazy thing is, how good coke taste in haiti. its like a magical unicorn sent from God picked the ingredients and decided that high fructose corn syrup should be replaced with pure cane juice. and then the angles said, "let's replace the can with a glass bottle."

and all I have to say is amen.

In Honor of Bilbo and Frodo

Today is National Hobbit day. We should all commemorate today, because it's nice to have holidays. Some suggestions for celebrating are; giving gifts, watching lord of the rings, singing hobbit songs, smoking a pipe, lighting off fireworks, dancing, and going barefoot. Another great way to celebrate is plant a garden, and don't do any homework (for at least today). Since I am missing celebrating this holiday with my friends and family I will simply have to re-celebrate once I get back.

Just to prove to you that I am not making this up, I did some research last night before heading to bed.

"Hobbit Day is the birthday of the hobbits Bilbo and Frodo Baggins, two fictional characters in J. R. R. Tolkien's popular set of books The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings."Both Bilbo and Frodo were said to be born on September 22, but of different years. Bilbo was born in the year of 2890 and Frodo in the year of 2968 in the Third Age (1290 and 1368 respectively in Shire-Reckoning.)""Celebration
The Fellowship of the Ring opened with a celebration of Bilbo's birthday. It was a large party with food, fireworks, dancing and much merriment.
In real world some Tolkien fans celebrate with having parties and feasts emulating the hobbit's parties. Others celebrate by simply going barefooted in honour of the hobbits, who rarely wear shoes.
Many schools and libraries use this as an opportunity to garner interest in Tolkien's work by putting up displays and hosting events."

Also during my research I found that this week as a whole is also to be celebrated as Tolkien Week(Tolkien Week is the week containing Hobbit Day)

"The American Tolkien Society first proclaimed Hobbit Day and Tolkien Week in 1978, and defines them as this: "Tolkien Week is observed as the calendar week containing September 22, which is always observed as Hobbit Day", but acknowledges that Hobbit Day pre-dates their designation."

I know not everyone is as excited about this as I am. But relax a little, take a break and celebrate Hobbit day, (and if you're extra daring spread some cheer for Tolkien Week)

over and out

Simple

“This was a very typical time. I was single. All you needed was a cup of tea, a light, and your stereo, you know, and that’s what I had.”
—Steve Jobs 1982

Since I have been here in Haiti I have seen just how little people have. It has made me think how much stuff I have that I don't need. I want to live simple. This is an inspiration.

what is God teaching me

September 18, 2010 12:08 PM

Wow, 3 days have gone by already! No way! Let me go over quickly what happened.

I got an avocado the size of a football! It was delicious

I drove down to Port-au-Prince in a bus and picked up a team from MFI (missionary flights international). It was pretty cool.

I started working on my grandparents newsletter. If you asked me 2 days ago I would say “I don’t want to talk about it” but now its almost done so I am happy.

I only have 9 days left here. And I think I am starting to see what God is teaching me.

Since the time I arrived here I have realized more and more how much I don’t rely on God. I tend to get distracted with other things. Little things seem to get in my way, I become “too busy”. When I realize I need to spend more time with God, my day becomes packed, distractions come, or I fall into temptation.

It seems that every chance I have to refocus is plagued by distractions, and once I have mastered ignoring those distractions, a whole new set of distractions come. Its like a line from the movie Elisabethtown (I watched it when I was sick, and I don’t care if it’s a chick flick, I liked it) “if its not this, it would be something else”. How true that is. “If its not this distraction, or temptation, it would be something else”.

I don’t think at any time we are going to have it easy. It’s not easy to stay focused on God and depend on Him. There are always going to be things pulling us away from Him. I have been learning how much I have to mentally seek after God, and physically make time for Him. I am learning how to push past distractions and stay focused on Him and His will.

Sometimes the distractions can even things that are good. It could be teaching, leading a small group, leading worship, mentoring, etc. that pulls you away from God. These things (if you are too involved) can have a negative impact on your walk with Christ. A wise man (I cant remember if it was Andrew Schwab from Project 86, or Jimmy Ryan from Haste the Day) once told me “Ministry is the overflow of personal devotion”.

That means that Ministry is not being a Youth Pastor, Missionary, or Worship leader- those are only jobs. Ministry is the outcome of when you are devoted to Christ, letting Him work through you. What we now call “Ministry” can become just a job if you aren’t devoted to God. In John 15:2 it says that those who bear fruit- He prunes. I read a little bit of taking care of a vineyard, and the vinedresser was talking about how the vines usually produce flowers in the spring. He said they are beautiful blossoms and they smell nice too, but every spring he goes out and cuts off the blossoms, because- although the flowers are attractive and smell good they suck the nourishment that would go to the fruit. So things that appear to be good, and are even “good” things can suck the nourishment that belongs to the fruit. What is fruit?

Galatians 5 says that fruit is from the Spirit, and that fruit is; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self control. This fruit does not come by the flesh, but by the Spirit, and no matter how hard you try to possess these positive characteristics you can’t. The works of the flesh are evident, and they are against the fruit of the Spirit. Paul says the flesh and the spirit are at war, or opposed to/with each other. Real fruit then is the Spirit working in and through you.

So when God prunes you, it is so He can work in you more effectively, without pretty flowers getting in the way. There may be things that He takes away because it is inhibiting you from Gods potential for you (even though these things may be good). Sometimes leading worship can take so much time and preparing, that it distracts you from spending time with God- Prune. Sometimes you are doing so much ministry that you don’t make time to talk to God- Prune. Sometimes you care so much about helping people that you are distracted from what God is teaching you in YOUR life- Prune Sometimes you are so involved in helping others grow, you stop seeking to grow yourself- Prune.

Right now I think I’m being pruned a lot and it’s not cause I am doing a lot of “good” stuff, it’s just cause I’m messed up.

Over and out.

Hobbit Song

I don't know why I love this but I do. and its so catchy if you know the tune.

Hey, ho, to the bottle I go,
To heal my heart and drown my woe!
Rain may fall and wind may blow,
But there still beeeeee many miles to go!

Sweet is the sound of the pouring rain,
And stream that falls from hill to plain!
Better than rain or rippling brook,
Is a mug of beer inside this Took!

Strange and dark is the world outside,
But in the pub we've naught to hide!
With lots of ale, and barley wine,
This evenin' is surpassin' fine!

Harvest's in and cold without,
An' hobbits strong are hobbits stout!
Naught to fear, and naught to think,
For hobbits nowwww have ale to drink!

The Shire lays right down to sleep,
In slumber long and slumber deep!
Hushed be hobbit lass and lad,
With faces plump and faces glad!

A land of peace and a hobbit hole
And in a pouch a pipeweed roll!
Never falter, never fear,
For the Shire will always be here!

I could be brown, I could blue, I could be violet sky, I could be hurtful, I could be purple, I could be anything you like

iSeptember 15, 2010 3:38 PM

Its been a great day so far. Really productive! I got a lot of stuff done here at the mission. And I also ate 1/3 of now’n’laters package! So yes it was a great day today so far. Last night I had an amazing quite time. I wrote out a prayer, and I was thinking about posting it, but I’m not sure how that would be perceived. Then again not a lot of people read this, what do you think?

Over and out.

Haitian Happiness

September 13, 2010 10:12 PM

I have been sick all day, I haven’t left bed except to poop and throw up. We call this “Haitian Happiness” and I wasn’t too happy, but I was filled with joy.

This girl. I love this girl.

Over and out.

Ps. My beard itches.

Thank you oh my father

September 12, 2010 8:06 PM

I just got back from our little trip. We went to a little town called Hench. It was a 3½ hour long drive there, we left at 6am so we got there just in time to attend a church service. They asked each of us to share a little in front of the congregation. It was a little intimidating because I certainly didn’t have anything prepared to say. But I did anyways and it actually wasn’t as bad as I thought. I wasn’t expecting on attending a church, so I had my most raggedy shirt and cutoffs on. In Haiti they all dress up really nice. People may even carry their Sunday outfit miles in a bag and then change once they get to church. So I felt very under dressed.

There was 7 of us that went. But I was the youngest so I got to ride in the back the whole way. I don’t want to complain because I am so thankful that I got to go, but my back is wrecked! It hurts to stand up straight. I wish God had blessed me with longer legs instead of a longer torso. But beggars cant be choosers eh?

We ate at a pretty cool restaurant and I had chicken, rice and beans, beet salad, 7up and a football sized fresh avocado. It was amazing,

We got to visit some of the sponsored kids, I was traveling with their sponsor parents. And we deliver some gifts for them as well as food for their family. We also brought boxes of food and supplies for the school in Hench that the mission supports.

We got to visit the houses of the sponsor kids, but one kid was in the hospital, so we went to his house and then to the hospital to visit for a little. He was so weak, he didn’t move much, at least until we brought out the football.

Once we got back I got to go to the bible study that all the BHM staff attends. This week it was on Moses taking the Israelites across the Red Sea. We started to understand how much faith it took for Israel to cross the sea. God was using that as a test for them. Just like He continues to test us, to show us how small our trust is, and how big He is, and how worthy His trust is. When I go through hard times I hope one day my first instinct will be to turn to God and praise Him for helping me grow. Instead I find myself turning to Him and grumbling, just like the Israelites.

Thank you oh my father for giving us your son and leaving your spirit till your work on earth is done

Over and out.

cutoff jeans and flip-flops

September 11, 2010 10:56 PM

I just finished fixing and putting back together a soundboard for a church 30 minutes away. So tomorrow they can use it! there was about 250 screws and they were all different sizes and had different threads and it was a pain. But the real pain was soldering it all and then putting back all the wires where they needed to be. So I am glad that that is done. On my way back to my room I was all alone and it was pitch black. My room is pretty far away, like a 2 ½ minute walk and it was just me and my baby light from my phone. I hate that walk every night, I get that feeling that someone is following me or is gonna pop out of somewhere. Anyways tonight there was a bunch of dogs on the way back to the room. These aren’t normal dogs, these are Haitian dogs, they eat each other for breakfast literally (well actually dinner).

I was debating just walking to my room and kicking a couple of them and fighting them off, or scaring them. But my cutoff jeans and flip-flops said no. so I waited and waited and waited, and the dogs finally left.

Tomorrow morning I leave at 6am to drive to the northern part of Haiti. I get to go and visit some sponsor kids! Were bringing some supplies and gifts for them. I will be gone all day, but ill get back in time for dinner. I will try to take pictures so be on the lookout!

Over and out.

Ps. Why do people yell when they are praying? A little girl once told me it was because “God is really really old and he can’t hear good”.

holding on to hope

one of my favorite bands.

i love how you can hear the passion in his voice.

Well time tears this empire down

We're caught beneath the shambles of what seemed so meant to be
But ill press on, ill press on
Memories like mountains on this journeys
Thoughts like a disease
Why break again whats already been broken?
Your so distant but i feel you pressing on me.
Is this what you wanted? Taking it from me?
The night is still, my body shakes
Change is out of reach

Tied By Miles I'll the pieces together

A love unconditional, only you only you!
A love uncondtional, only you only you!

But Ill still love you in the end cause
But Ill still love you in the end case.

You've always loved me!
You've always loved me!

Im wearing thin, oh im wearing so thin
Im about to break, about break

Wont you lend a hand? God lend me your hand.

NO ive seen this place before, face on the floor.
SON I am this love you seek, just lay your life at my feet.

dog civil war once the sun goes down

September 9, 2010 10:40 AM

Where did yesterday go? Wow…

Well not much has happened since then. I finished soldering all the music cables and now I am on to fixing a mixing board for a church. One of the fuses was blown so I am going down into port-au-prince tomorrow to try to find a replacement. I get to take a tap-tap, which is Haiti’s taxi service. A tap-tap is basically any brightly painted vehicle packed to maximum capacity. By maximum capacity I mean, people, chickens and goats hanging out the side and on the roof.

Today I had a great conversation with my uncle on the current state of the church and how it is affecting the youth. More on that later.

Ps. I think I am getting sick, and I cant fall asleep at night cause for some reason every dog in Haiti thinks its dog civil war once the sun goes down.

September 9, 2020 10:21 PM

Wow the day sure went by, right now I can’t tell if it was long or short. We got down to port-au-prince just fine on the tap tap. However once we got there we had ZERO success on finding the part we needed. On the other hand I was successful at finding and locating some razzle-berry now’n’laters and some Arizona sweet tea! That made my day. Once we had exhausted every electronic store in all of port-au-prince we headed back up to the mission. We had to take two tap-taps to get there.

The first tap-tap we took seemed like it would be a really nice comfortable ride up. It was like a 14 passenger van. But as we went along we slowly started to pick up more and more people until we were so packed I could hardly breath. People were everywhere, it was so packed someone from outside had to close the door.

We got off the first tap-tap once we went as far as it was going. Then we walked up the mountain until another tap-tap drove by and hoped on the back. This tap-tap was like a ford ranger. The only difference between this ford ranger and a ford ranger in the states was- this already had 21 people in it. so we grabbed on the back and hung on. I have to admit that after about 25 minutes my arms we sore.

Once we got back I got to restart my project of fixing a churches soundboard for church on Suday. Since we didn’t get the part we needed I had to tear apart and look for it in; 3 broken computer monitors, 4 broken desktop computers, a broken power amp, and some broken medical equipment. Alas, I found parts that were close, but none that would work. How hard can it be to find a 1µf, 400 volt capacitor?

After all this was pizza night, followed by game night- a great way to wrap up the week.

Here are some pictures of hanging some speakers at a church on Monday. Hopefully I can upload some from our tap-tap ride soon

They shall return and shall dwell beneath my shadow

September 7, 2010 8:45 AM

I just got out of the shower and it feels so nice to be clean. I started an amazing quiet time, but it got interrupted so I could make toast and coffee. And I must say, that was a great idea because now I can enjoy my 1^st meal of the day and not have to rush or skip it. AND I get to spend more time doing my devos, which come out of Hosea ch. 14. As I read I thought of a song by Phil Wickham titled “The Light Will Come” . I can only imagine this is how Israel must have felt after all this time when they have lost all hope, Israel finally repented and cried out for God, and God comes and says;

“I will heal their apostasy; I will love them freely. For my anger has turned from them. I will be like the dew to Israel; he shall blossom like the lily; he shall take root like the trees of Lebanon; his shoots shall spread out; his beauty shall be like the olive, and his fragrance like Lebanon. They shall return and shall dwell beneath my shadow; they shall flourish like the grain, the shall blossom like the vine their fame shall be like the wine of Lebanon “

Beautiful-

When we arrive at eternity shore where death is just a memory and tears are no more. Well enter in as the wedding bells ring, your bride will come together and we’ll sing You’re beautiful.

This morning I also had an amazing little worhip service all by myself and it was WONDERFUL. I remember talking to one of my dear friends josh about how sometimes you have those amazing devotion times when you are in the presence of God and you seek after that daily. But it is never the same even if you read the same passage and pray the same prayer, because God chooses to show himself at his time. And I don’t think it’s a bad thing to want those times to come, unless it is out of selfish, and self-centered motives. Anyways just a thought.

It is well with my soul.

September 6, 2010 8:23 PM

September 6, 2010 8:23 PM

I just got back from a long day of work. 1^st on the list was soldering. 2^nd was fixing peoples computers. 3^rd was testing a sound system. And last but not least was hanging speakers 35 feet in the air.

There is this fairly sized church about 30 minutes away from the mission and we had to re-hang the speakers so I carried some tools up with me and climbed up the ladder and spent about 1½ hours clinging on to the rafters and the ladder while working with wire clamps. Needless to say that was exciting.

We got back late, cause we also helped work on their sound system at the church. Once we got back it was dark and we had missed dinner. And I was dead tired.

When Aaron threw down his staff

September 5, 2010 9:58 PM

Today I got to help with some computer stuff again, I got to “help these old people who don’t know how to do anything on a computer” as my grandma put it. But tonight I also had a great time of fellowship and bible study with the staff. We even watched a video on the gods of Egypt and the plagues that God brought on Egypt and how they directly correlated. We also got to see what the meaning of whole staff into serpent deal was about. I’ll try to sum it up briefly- the snake was the “protector” of the Pharaohs and the staff represented power. The Pharaoh would always have a staff to represent that he was in control of his subjects like a Sheppard was in control of his sheep. When Abraham and Aaron came before Pharaoh he was prolly wondering why they had a staff and who they thought they were to carry that symbol of power. Pharaoh prolly saw it as a challenge the moment they stepped in. When Aaron threw down his staff and it turned into a snake, it challenged or shocked Pharaoh because, who is going to protect Pharaoh from Pharaohs protector? Once Pharaoh called his magicians in and they produced 2 snakes out of staffs, then Aarons STAFF ate both the other STAFFS. This was showing Gods ultimate power and Aarons source of power was in control and over Pharaohs source of power.

Anyways I thought that was pretty cool.

Also I am not sure if any one is reading this, so if you are just let me know.

Over and out.

Ps. I got to talk to hanna tonight!

And the rain storms here are amazing.

embarrassed to eat out with

September 4, 2010 8:52 AM

Today we got locked in today :( this sucks cause someone locked us in and we don’t have keys to get out of the last gate. So right now I’m having coke in a bottle (with real sugar- yes I am pretty excited about it) and pbj for breakfast while read and pray.

September 4, 2010 9:36 AM

Still locked in but were getting help. I played some guitar and was able to have my own little worship time. It was nice. I am washing my face and brushing my teeth now, then I’m gonna go work on soldering some cables and then hopefully hike down to the waterfall. Only problem is I only brought 1 pair of shoes, and those are for church tomorrow and I brought my rainbows but its kinna like a cliff we have to hike down.

September 4, 2010 10:44 AM

Right now I am updating my blog and checking my email. I am excited to try to skype with Hanna. Yesterday I forgot to mention the long conversation I had with my uncle Chris. We talked about some of the problems that the youth today faces, and then we talked about our ideas for solutions to the current state of the church. One of the big things we talked about was just how busy people are now, they just don’t “have time” for things. People are used to just “doing” if they have a list of things to do then they can do it, but their heart most likely isn’t in it. We talked about those people that we look up to and wish we were more like, those people who actually live out the Christian lifestyle, the ones who we may even be embarrassed to eat out with because they call our waitress over and pray for her, then present the gospel. I think that if there were also more relational Christians who actually cared about each other and loved each other that would be great. But for some reason Christians just cant get along with each other and others see that as hypocritical because if we are called to love and we cant even get along with each other how is that reflecting Christ. A lack of good community is also a huge thing that the church lacks, discipleship, small groups, and accountability groups. I know that the youth today are searching for that, for people who care about them enough to spend time with them and talk and listen. It reminds me of an article I read about this guy who got out of jail and started going to church. He read through the whole bible in jail and once he started going to church he saw all the disunity and realized that the gang he came from was more loving then the so called “Christians” so he went back to his normal lifestyle. Anyways those are just some thoughts, and I didn’t really process them all in an orderly fashion. Sorry for the thoughts puked out. Next time ill try to clean it up first.

Ps. I’m really excited to skype with Hanna

along with hundreds of mosquitoes

September 3, 2010 9:57 PM

This morning I went over Romans Ch. 1 and it stayed on my mind all day, no excuse is a pretty blunt statement. Its crazy what God chooses to reveal himself to the world. Anyways today was my first day of work and I had some pretty odd jobs;

1st I worked on restoring computers, scanning hard drives for viruses, and transferring files from hard drive to hard drive.
2nd I worked on soldering back together an electric keyboard for one of the churches that the mission supports, but the work I did to restore the keyboard was in vain after I found a couple of wires missing.
3rd and most exciting I got to help with payday- that consisted of packing bags of rice, pinto beans, bulgur, peanut butter, shoes, shampoo, and soap.

It was exciting to hand out the bags we packed. After the Haitians waited (not-so-patiently in the pouring rain) it was so good to see their faces smile once they were handed a bag. The Haitians to receive their bags for the work they do on the mission, which includes but is not limited to; working in the machine shop, cooking meals, and even mowing the lawns…with machetes.

On my way back to my room tonight I was more successful at finding and using my keys and I passed at least 5 security guards on my way back, the only way I could see them was the reflection of moon on their 12 gauge shotguns (sometimes I feel like Indiana Jones in a foreign country).

The mission has a guitar I can use, and although it is not the best it is nice to have since I couldn’t bring mine. My bags were packed on the way here; funny thing is that I wasn’t the one who packed them full of stuff. My uncle had me transport some things he needed in my bags. I ended up just packing all my stuff in a carry-on backpack while my other 2 duffle bags were full of computer stuff, a sound system, and a text book for a student here.

Tonight for dinner we had pizza! It was good! And I also got a whole case of coke, in one-liter glass bottles- the good coke with real sugar, like in Mexico. And then brownies for dessert followed by a night of ping-pong while trying to get a hold of my girlfriend.

Right now I am used to being alone at nighttime, however I’m not completely alone, I have Coldplay, Phil Wickham, and Bon Iver for company along with hundreds of mosquitoes.

I’m not sure of what I am doing tomorrow (the people who give me work are taking the day off). I should head to bed though, because if I have no work to do then I am going to catch some lizards and try to hike down to a waterfall. I hope its not bath day again, because last time it was awkward hiking past a ton of butt naked Haitians.

Ps. I miss Hanna, a lot.

let him sit alone in silence when it is laid on him.

September 2, 2010 7:51 PM

I have been in Haiti for just over 12 hours now. It is dark and I had to use a flashlight to navigate my way back to where I am staying. I fumbled around with my keys to unlock the 2 gates on the way to my room, and then clumsily unlocked the my door. I came really close to dropping my keys into a deep dark ally, but don’t worry, I didn’t.

Tonight I read Lamentations chapter 3. I love Gods word and how it applies to me daily, I love how He speaks through it to me, and how His spirit moves in me when the word of God is on the forefront of my mind. Sadly I don’t seek after God as much as I should, and I do not spend as much time in His word as I should. I keep asking for signs and answers to prayer but I am so self centered that I don’t even spend time with God, let alone take time out of “my day” to read His word. Yet I find myself complaining to Him, about not feeling Him working in my life, not hearing Him, and not receiving answers to my prayers. I suck at being a disciple of God. But Lamentations 3 shows that he is faithful even when I seem to be faithless. Anyways these are some of the verses that stood out to me;

Vs 21-24 But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases his mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning, great is Your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him”.

These next couple verse were such an answer to prayer, it’s amazing that God hears me when I cry out, that he cares for me and answers me. It’s just crazy.

Vs 25-27 the Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul that seeks him. It is good that one should WAIT QUIETLY for the salvation of the Lord.

It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth

Let him sit alone in silence when it is laid on him.

Now that’s just what I plan on doing in a little bit here. I am tired from traveling but I think I am still unable to sleep, sometimes jet lag can be a blessing (but more often it’s a curse).

This is my prayer tonight,

Vs 40-41 Let us test and examine our ways and return to the Lord. Let us lift up our hearts and hands to God in heaven.

Over and out

Ps. I forgot how much I love Haitian Coffee

the trip starts

September 1^st 2010 at 6:00 PM I boarded a flight out of Santa Barbara, and on September 2^nd 2010 at 7:50 AM I landed in Port-au-Prince Haiti.

I will be living and working here for then next month. My schedule at the Baptist Haiti Mission is unclear as of now- but as far as I know I will be working on filming/editing videos as well as going out w

ith teams to give aid to some of the 360 churches/schools that the missions supports.

As I was on the plane I found myself asking God “why am I going here?” that answer may be clearer to you then it is to me. The obvious answer is “to help the mission minister to Haiti”, but I was asking God for something deeper, what is His specific purpose for bring me to Haiti? What is He teaching me? What specifically is God going to do in my life now that I have saved/raised money, packed my bags, and flown down to Haiti?

I know that these are pretty self-centered questions. But still they are lingering in the back of my head. Is God be teaching me that I need to break out of my comfortable lifestyle and step out in faith daily to follow Him? Or is there something more?

As I was driving from the airport to the mission I saw hundreds maybe thousands of tents that the Haitians live in now due to the earthquake. I thought of how much I have and how hard sometimes it is for me to trust or even follow God. How can I be an example to these people who have so little? And why do I worry about such little things like, will I get done with college on time? When the people here don’t even know where their next meal is coming from.

Over and out.

Ps. I've been wearing topsiders for at least 24hours straight and when I took them off- I barfed a little bit in my mouth, close to a reaction I would have if Justin Beiber started a rock band.

love this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tq_SURMi1Mo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAPKB6-DYOY

The Christian paradox

Something I read through recently has been on my mind alot, and I have spent a lot of thought on this when I really should be studying for 2 finals tomorrow, what can I say... I had to read this for sociology. Its really sad to see the state of "Christianity" in America, and it has only gotten worse since 2005 when this article was written, the full text can be found here

Only 40 percent of Americans can name more than four of the Ten Commandments, and a scant half can cite any of the four authors of the Gospels. Twelve percent believe Joan of Arc was Noah's wife. This failure to recall the specifics of our Christian heritage may be further evidence of our nation's educational decline, but it probably doesn't matter all that much in spiritual or political terms. Here is a statistic that does matter: Three quarters of Americans believe the Bible teaches that “God helps those who help themselves.” That is, three out of four Americans believe that this uber-American idea, a notion at the core of our current individualist politics and culture, which was in fact uttered by Ben Franklin, actually appears in Holy Scripture. The thing is, not only is Franklin's wisdom not biblical; it's counter-biblical. Few ideas could be further from the gospel message, with its radical summons to love of neighbor. On this essential matter, most Americans—most American Christians—are simply wrong, as if 75 percent of American scientists believed that Newton proved gravity causes apples to fly up.

Asking Christians what Christ taught isn't a trick. When we say we are a Christian nation—and, overwhelmingly, we do—it means something. People who go to church absorb lessons there and make real decisions based on those lessons; increasingly, these lessons inform their politics. (One poll found that 11 percent of U.S. churchgoers were urged by their clergy to vote in a particular way in the 2004 election, up from 6 percent in 2000.) When George Bush says that Jesus Christ is his favorite philosopher, he may or may not be sincere, but he is reflecting the sincere beliefs of the vast majority of Americans.

And therein is the paradox. America is simultaneously the most professedly Christian of the developed nations and the least Christian in its behavior. That paradox—more important, perhaps, than the much touted ability of French women to stay thin on a diet of chocolate and cheese—illuminates the hollow at the core of our boastful, careening culture...

A rich man came to Jesus one day and asked what he should do to get into heaven. Jesus did not say he should invest, spend, and let the benefits trickle down; he said sell what you have, give the money to the poor, and follow me. Few plainer words have been spoken. And yet, for some reason, the Christian Coalition of America—founded in 1989 in order to “preserve, protect and defend the Judeo-Christian values that made this the greatest country in history”—proclaimed last year that its top legislative priority would be “making permanent President Bush's 2001 federal tax cuts.”

Similarly, a furor erupted last spring when it emerged that a Colorado jury had consulted the Bible before sentencing a killer to death. Experts debated whether the (Christian) jurors should have used an outside authority in their deliberations, and of course the Christian right saw it as one more sign of a secular society devaluing religion. But a more interesting question would have been why the jurors fixated on Leviticus 24, with its call for an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. They had somehow missed Jesus' explicit refutation in the New Testament: “You have heard that it was said, ‘an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also.”

If I believed in myself
As much as I believe in you
This would be so much easier
But it's not


so come and get me.

TIE ME UP, UNTIE ME!

mewithoutyou lyrics

I was looking at the leaves, climbing to the tops of the trees...
But you were nowhere to be found;
Just beneath all the green you were buried like a little seed...
Among the roots and underground.
I was licking at the leaves, but I was in short sleeves and you,
You were like some sickness that I caught;
And my sweetheart moved away, swept off like garbage in the alleyway...
And I need more grace than I thought.

(Oh, please, brother, I am far...brother, I am far away...brother, I am far away from everything.
Oh, brother, I am far...brother, I am far away...brother! I am far away from everything good!)

She's like a hot cloth on a fevered head,
And like a needle she leads me (while I follow like thread)
Tie me up! Untie me! All this wishing I was dead is getting old...
IT'S GETTING OLD!!
...it goes on, but it's old.

I was swimming through the waves for what must have been days...
But could find no relief;
When I started sinking down I thought for certain I would drown...
Until I saw you in the ocean,
Underneath all the bright colored fish tell of a treasure in a dull shell...
"Such subtlety, so easily missed!"
You, my hidden pearl of pure and perfect love,
And I'm the living example of 100% the opposite of this.

(If I ask the same questions...well, yes, sir, I ask the same questions...
Well, maybe I repeat myself from time to time.
But if I ask the same questions...and then I know I ask the same questions,
It's because everyone who answers me is a liar!!)

She's like the hot cloth on a fevered head,
And like a needle she leads me (while I follow like thread)
But you untied me...didn't You untie me, Lord?
And now I haven't even thought about killing myself in almost five months.

old writing

Im on the road again, im riding on a bus
You told me “oh don’t worry”, but still you lack my trust
With Galilee behind me, and Jerusalem up ahead
The mount where Jesus taught, the 4000 he fed
Samson and Delilah, a story of light vs. dark
Gezer was a city on a hill, still they missed their mark
You told me “choose living water”, yet still I dug a well
I stood in the valley, where goliath fell
Give me faith like David, help me to protect my sheep
The lion and the bear are here, and it’s time for them to eat
Up on Mount Arbel, You came for solitude
Then spend 40 days in prayer, 40 days without food
40 years in the dessert, until a generation passed
You would think they learned their lesson, but the lesson didn’t last
You said “throw out the wrong net, on the wrong side of the boat”
Then they pulled up so many fish, that the boat couldn’t float
In Christ I am weak, NO- In Christ I am strong
I feel like 2000 years ago, is where I belong
The sermon on the mount, Matthew 5- chapter 7
I’ve asked, seeked, and knocked, I’m ready to come to heaven
There is no song that I could sing, no poem I could write
My throats an empty grave, but yet I sing with all my might
To attempt to bring you something, that you don’t already own
I’m afraid my fire’s burned out, that my heart’s turned to stone

Now I’m ready to start living be the air that I’m breathing
Be my strength be my might, Jesus be my delight
In my darkness, be my light, in my weakness be my might
Be my shield, be my sword, be the life I can’t afford
Be the peace to my world, be my Savior- BE MY LORD
I am a worm not a man, oh God take my hand

freegan

It's just common sense, when someone's throwing it away to eat that as long as it's still healthy, rather than going and buying something new. It's more just me being a cheapskate, knowing I can ride my bicycle and get around a lot cheaper than putting gas in a car and maintaining it... It's not an ideology that I would want to push on anybody... I'm happy that my brother has a cell phone so I can borrow it right now. And I'm obviously happy that many people have houses so I have so many places to sleep.

-Aaron Weiss

earings

So I am raising money for Haiti, I am going to Haiti on a missions trip. I am making and selling earrings, and all profit that is made is going to purchase airfare. I am heading to Haiti on August 29th, with a team of 4 other members, we are building and rebuilding churches and schools, also doing some work around the Baptist Haiti Mission.

So buy a pair, Or two.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Zach-Way-Earings/110417488999680?v=app_2373072738#!/pages/Zach-Way-Earings/110417488999680?ref=sgm

oh me oh my

I decided to start writing music again, this should be interesting

Tonight

One of those nights where I feel like a robot,
Where I dont know how I feel, or how to feel.
I'm cranky but I dont know why, I'm mean for no reason and I find myself thinking
"why am I like this?"

But I dont know whats wrong, and I dont know how to fix it if I dont know whats wrong.

I was a good day! but now I just want to go to sleep because sleep will bring a new day.
I feel like I am done with today, or today is done with me.

and I have incentive to blog.
and I have no idea what to even write in my journal, so I may just date a page and turn it for tomorrow.

grandma

found these pictures online. laughing is good for the soul

Tonight

Tonight I talked about the importance of the bible in our lives as christians.

American christians have become so complacent about reading their bible... as a result many of us dont even know how to. And this generation is growing up biblically illiterate. And were already starting to see the results.

new theology
the bible as guidelines
modern "open" theology
anti biblical-literalists
and yes something that has been going on for a long time

hypocrisy.

Tonight was the second talk I have given on this subject and it seemed to go pretty well, granted I took longer than I should've, but I could've talked all night.

Last week I covered, the importance of the bible. I could talk about that for months, but one night had to do.

Tonight I covered; how to read your bible effectively.
I will continue this next week, but basically this week was;

1. meditate on it (both day and night)
2. realize that it is applicable to your life
3. challenge yourself with it, APPLY it to your life

random

So this weekend I started a journal again. I have never finished one.
Hanna got me thinking about it, I want to remember things I'm learning so that I don't forget.

History repeats itself.

But I plan on not letting that happen in my life

HAITI

I am/have been/continue to plan(ning?) a trip to Haiti at the end of this summer.
I am bringing a hand picked team of 6-9 people.
We are going to rebuild and help in any way possible.
I will be sending out support letters soon.
and posting Blogs more often on the exact details.

This has been heavy on my heart for sometime now.
I'm seriously praying about doing full time missions over there.

keep all this in your prayers
and pray without ceasing

Theres this girl

her name is hanna olivia
and i love her so much
she is my best friend
she is such an encouragement, and continues everyday to lift me up, and point me back to God.
she makes me so happy, and fills me with joy overflowing.
AND
also makes me laugh, and is funny and cute and wonderful

God continues to show me his love through this girl, and she is just wonderful.

As Cities Burn

Sometimes when listening to music I get this shiver up my spine.
This happens for a multitude of reasons, for instance;
the smoothness and aesthetics of the vocals,
the brutality of a breakdown with sheer cleanliness,
the beautiful sweeping guitar solo
(listen to "Gentlemen"(go to sleep) by Farless and you will know what I'm talking about)

Today I had one of these music seizures, my brain stops for a second, and I am consumed with what I am listening to. Today it happened to be the music of as cities burn.

It's not so much the music but more the lyrics and the heart behind the song/songs.

If I make it to heaven
I may be as bloody as hell.
Would you still take me?
I'm afraid that you might say,
"Depart from me, I never knew you."


All the love I want to give,
Gets caught between every rib.
What does that make me?
I have good intentions,
But no exit for them to come out right through.

I'm in the wrong body.
I'm in the wrong body.
I'm in the wrong body.
I must have stumbled in.

And

Well, I've got a will but I want yours
I've got a growing heap of crosses and burdens
I've simply lost heart to shoulder
Simply no strength to lift
I've always been a man in need
'cause I keep stepping in and out of the shadow

Caught by the drift and pitch of whatever it is
That keeps me coming back
I want out
'cause I'm getting sick
Sick from all this swerving
Driver, sick from turning on you

Someone show me a hole in this cycle
Show me the way away and i'm coming back
The way I came
No! I've seen this place before
Surely this is no place for the light of this world

Oh how sweet the sound
I know it saved but is it changing a wretch like me
Oh my God how sweet is the sound
I once was blind but now I just look away

Stepping in and out of the shadow
Stepping in and out
I just look away
Stepping in and out of the shadow
I just look away

Stepping in and out

My bride, I don't want to know what I'd be without
forgiveness brushing these adulterous lips

Being full of wisdom

Something that I have always wanted was to just be smart, to have the right thing to say, to have an encouraging word, a convicting message. A word of wisdom. I long to have the right thing to say at the right time. To be a light, to show people God, to reflect Jesus Christ the creator of joy, peace, comfort, wisdom, knowledge and everything. But instead I blurb out some stupid statement, and later sulk about how I could've done better.

I want to just not talk at all, unless the words that come out of my mouth are worth while.

I'm not sure if this is just selfish or not. But I am sure God will reveal my motives.

Count your blessings

I am soo blessed, yet at times I forget how blessed I really am.
Living this life, I have so many little things to find joy in.
Simply the fact that I have a roof over my head at night, or food to eat when I wake up. God has blessed me so much. And I am learning to be thankful for the little things.